It didn’t really hit me how much Zander has changed in the last year until I started scrolling through the pictures. It’s astounding how fast everything has changed. Here’s a small collection of the millions of pictures I have taken of him since he was born. Enjoy the pictures. Enjoy the music. This song is known in our house as “Zander’s song”. He has always been a cuddler, even in the hospital, he would not sleep in the crib but had to sleep with me. As we were trying to wean him from sleeping in our bed, in the first few months, Matt and I would take turns dancing and rocking him around while singing slow songs in the dark. This would go on for hours and hours until finally he would be in a deep enough sleep that his crib wouldn’t disturb him. “The Scientist” by Coldplay was one of many on the baby playlist we created, but for some reason this was the one that ended up on repeat the most. I’ve always loved this song, and though Matt isn’t a big Coldplay fan, he grew to know the lyrics by heart. I still don’t know what it is about this song that soothes Zander, the beat, the instruments, the lyrics, but it still has a hold on him.
I’ve been listening to it as I’ve been typing this and there’s a part in the lyrics where he sings, “Nobody said it was easy. It’s such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard. I’m going back to the start.” That part has always hit me, even before Zander was born. This life is too hard right now, let’s just remember when times were carefree and simple. How many times in my life has that happened, too many to count. Listening to it now, it has taken on whole new meanings. “Going back to the start” is looking back at how big my cheeky boy has gotten and how much he’s changed. It is literally “going back to the start” with this third pregnancy, a constant reminder that soon our family will be joined by a new baby. It’s a lot of emotion in one song.
Anyway, before I become a blubbering mess, I will sign off and let you enjoy the trip down memory lane accompanied by a great song.